Isang Linggong Pag-ibig
Monday.
We saw her at the playground when we brought Milo that afternoon. Or, I guess I should say, she saw us and started to follow us around, wanting some love and affection. Nino was freaked out, trying to shoo her away, holding Milo for fear that this stray cat will scratch or bite.
I, on the other hand, having been around many pets all my young life, stood still and allowed her to lovingly rub herself on my leg. I didn’t want to pet her because I had no hand sanitizer on hand, but I used my feet to scratch under her chin – something I saw she appreciated, falling flat on the floor and asking for more.
When the others came, they saw how affectionate this little gray kitty was to everyone, and thought maybe somebody owned it – stray cats are not that nice. Eventually, the other kids went to play with her, leaving my family alone.
When we came home that night from dining out, Nino noticed the cat beside the trash bin in our unit – she followed us. But why would she follow us? Why me, in particular?
She must have been starving and thirsty, but I couldn’t give in and give her something to eat or drink, because that will only make her stay. And we can’t have that – not right now that Milo is still a baby. Not right now, when we have other expenses to think about.
But that night, poor kitty never left my mind.
Tuesday.
My uncle came over to pick up his vacuum cleaner from our garage. I came downstairs, opened the garage door so he can get it and load it in his car. A few minutes later, he says, “Hey, a cat just walked into your garage.”
I knew it was the same cat. He shooed her out and I closed the garage door, but that didn’t stop her from walking to me and showing me how affectionate she was. It was mind boggling. I did not give her food, but why did she choose to stick around me?
Milo was entertained by her – I guess he found her funny. And I guess that’s why he decided to be a cat that afternoon and rub his head on my leg, too.
I went back inside the house, guilty that I cannot help feed this little cat. So I sent an e-mail to my neighbors, asking if anybody was missing a lovely, affectionate kitty. Nobody replied.
Wednesday.
She was waiting outside the door that morning as Milo and I got ready to leave for our class by the park close to our community. She was all over me, the stroller and Milo that I couldn’t move or I would risk running over her paw.
But she insisted on staying close and walked with me all the way to our gate. I told her, “Kitty, you have to go back. There are lots of cars out here and you might get run over.”
I proceeded to walk to the park and looked back, seeing her just sitting there by the gate, watching me walk away.
Thursday.
Milo was coming down with something so I decided for us to stay home all day. We didn’t even come downstairs to our yard where Milo usually plays in the mornings, so I had no idea if the cat was still around our unit.
And then that night, Nino brought Milo downstairs to play and opened the garage door. I thought to myself, that the cat might come inside, so I proceeded to see if she indeed let herself in.
But she wasn’t there. So I asked Nino, “Did you see her at all?”
“No.”
Part of me was relieved that I didn’t have to beg her to go “home” (if she even had one), and that I wouldn’t have to feel guilty.
But the other part of me was longing to see her again. I was hoping she was still there, waiting for me, asking me to pet her and give her some love.
I still felt guilty even if she was no longer there: for not feeding her, for not giving her a place to stay and giving her a roof over her head, for not making her safe, for not giving her the affection she’s been begging for since the day we saw her.
Friday.
No sign of her anywhere. I pray she was not run over by speeding cars, left to suffer and die a slow, painful death, or poisoned by garbage food. I just hope and pray now that her owner found her, or that somebody adopted her and gave her a home – something I could not do even if my heart was screaming for it.
For some reason, this cat chose me. It wanted me to adopt her. I would have, but her timing was off. Maybe someday I’ll see her again, alive and well.
But even if I never do, I know I will never forget her, that little gray cat that tried to adopt me.
posted by meL @ 5:08 PM
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