12.31.2005

12/2005 Ang Disyembre Ko Ay Malungkot...

Hay. Totally relate ako sa kantang yan.

This Christmas did not come close to the Christmas Eve I was used to. For as long as I can remember, I spent every Christmas Eve with my huge family – lots of cousins, titos, titas and pamangkins that it wore me out on the first 20 minutes of our get together, sa pag-beso pa lang sa kanilang lahat. Then on Christmas Day, we had lunch or dinner with my father’s side of the family, with the same amount of cousins and titos and titas. We would all just eat, talk, play games, give and receive gifts, talk again and ate again hanggang di na kami makahinga sa kabusugan.

Not this year.

Nino, me, Tita Beng, Rey, Alice & Jay at their home in Queens for Xmas EveIt really wasn’t all that bad. I still got to spend the Eve with my new family – Nino – and my surrogate family here in NYC: Alice, my pinay officemate, her mom, Tita Beng, her cousin Ray and her fiancé, Jay. We still ate a ton of pinoy food, talked, laughed and even had our own little gift-giving session. We did have a lot of fun kahit kami lang, celebrating Jesus’ birthday.

I was grateful to have these people around for Christmas. Though I totally missed my family and friends back home, I really had no reason to sulk. Hindi ko naman birthday eh, birthday ni Jesus so wala akong karapatan magreklamo kung medyo malungkot yung Pasko ko this year.

Di nga ako umiyak eh, at least not until I was in church on Christmas day.

Feeling ko kasi, pag-harap ng Diyos, I lost all the strength I had for the entire Christmas season just trying to hold myself up. I felt so tired – from pretending to be strong, from pretending that our whole Christmas situation was ok; from pretending that the lights in 5th Avenue and the whole hustle-and-bustle-eklat in New York kept me energized, because in total honesty, hindi, eh. Despite the sounds, the beautiful Christmas lights and display, I felt so lonely. Nino and I felt the same way everyday, we just did not acknowledge that to ourselves and each other because that would only dampen each other’s holiday spirits, or at least what’s left of it. So sa simbahan, on Christmas day, bumigay din ako. Pero ok lang. Isang iyak lang, tapos tapos na (unlike nung New Year, ngumawa talaga ako).

After spending a full holiday season here in New York, Nino and I made a promise to ourselves - that we will never allow ourselves to be that lonely again on Christmas. Kaya every Christmas for the rest of our lives, uuwi kami sa Pinas. I don’t care how much that will cost. I’d rather spend money and be happy with our families and friends, than save that money but feel the way we felt last Christmas season.

Kaya ngayon pa lang, excited na ko mag-Pasko. I’m pretty sure Christmas will be one of the best holidays of my life.

12.21.2005

12/2005 Strike, New Yorker Style

What happens to New York City when mass transit workers say “we’re on strike!” Strike talaga! No buses, no subway lines, which were THE main modes of transportation here.

Sa atin, pag nag-strike, meron pa rin mga buses at jeeps, aandar pa rin ang LRT, MRT, trikes, and all other forms of mass transit. Not here in NYC.

So how do the people go to work in the morning and get home at night?

Take the only form of transportation left – a cab, which happens to be priced by “zones” (hence costing a passenger up to $80 one way for a 30-minute cab ride) and picks up 4 passengers max.

Then, there’s the other choice – walk.

That was the option I had to take, along with thousands of other commuters who had no other choice of getting into the city.

I had to walk today for 45 minutes going to work. 45 minutes of brisk walking, like everybody else who had no luck hailing a cab from the city. I considered myself luckier than those who had to cross the Brooklyn bridge and walk for more than an hour to work or school, but less lucky than those who did not actually have to leave the comfort of their homes.

Ok lang sana if we walked in 25-degree-celcius weather with a lot of sun. That would have been a good morning exercise for all of us. Pero hello, asa pa kaming lahat. Syempre dahil December, winter ang weather – in other words, temperatures that go from somewhere between -5 degrees to 4 degrees celcius. Ganda.

Nino and I came home with very tired feet. Tired, bugbog, foot-spa-deprived-for-almost-a-year feet. I truly hope this will be over soon.

12.12.2005

12/2005 Winter Wonder

I really wonder what the definition of winter is for Americans here in New York.

Temperatures have been “below normal” says the weather man every morning for the past couple of days. I hear people complain all the time in the buses and subways about how cold it was, and it’s not even winter yet.

If below 0 temperature (-7 degrees celcius to be exact) on the hottest time of the day is not “winter”, then what the heck is winter???! I dread to find out.

Tomorrow AM, I’m gonna have to go out of our warm apartment because I have to go to work, like a million other people here. And it’s going to be -3 degrees celcius, probably even lower in the morning.

Shet.