babble mix

First Time

Sometime in late March or early April 2008, I will be a mother. Mom. Mommy. Mama.

I still freaks out a little when my co-workers call me “momma” or when I realize Nino and I will be first-time parents. But I think I am slowly weaning out of the freak out stage, coz I’m more excited already.

I still haven’t figured out if I want to be called mommy or mama. I have a few weeks to decide – few weeks, not months. Because in a few weeks, this baby will start to hear my heartbeat and my voice, and by the time he/she hears me, I want him/her to know who this voice belongs to.

First Discovery

I was already sick in the stomach for a few days, feeling very bloated and acidic. Kala ko yung lemonade that I had for lunch ang salarin ng acid attack ko one Wednesday night. But the feeling lasted for 2 more days, and I started to worry that I ate something really bad. Until I realized, I was a few weeks late.

Aug. 10, Friday. Vanessa, one of my besprens at work, came with me to buy a home pregnancy test and brought me home. I peed on the stick, laid the stick on the floor (flat surface daw dapat) and waited for the pink line(s) to appear. 1 pink line visibly appeared… and then… nothing. Negative. Until a few minutes after, I saw a very, very faint second pink line. Kala ko imagination ko lang. That confused the heck out of me. Meron bang partially positive?

Buti na lang may internet to refer to. I went on peeonastick.com, which showed what “positive” looked in different brands – including the brand I bought. So there. Positive.

First Trimester Torture

I wasn’t really content with the home pregnancy test. I wanted to be really, really sure. The very next day, Nino and I went to see a doctor at the urgent care unit, because if I wasn’t pregnant, something was terribly wrong with my stomach and I just wanted to feel better!

As it turns out, I wasn’t going to feel any better until I honestly don’t know when. In fact, it got even worse. The first 2 weeks since I found out, I was just nauseous, no throwing up.

I thought I was spared from actually vomiting, until the throwing up started, enough times in a day to make me worried about dehydration. Doc gave me meds right away to help me keep the food down. Colds, cough and fever that both Nino and I caught from the airport (after attending his cousin’s wedding in NJ) didn’t help at all.

I couldn’t stand the smell of food – any food! Lalo na pag dinner time. Chicken, pork chop, beef, shrimp, even veggies. And garlic which I loved so much before this whole pregnancy thing! I miss eating. I miss cooking food for dinner – my poor husband doesn’t know what to eat every night because I can’t cook.

And if he buys food from outside, I can’t eat with him because the smell makes me gag and eventually triggers another puking session. I stay in the room where I can’t smell what he’s eating. And I just have Ensure.

As I write this, I’m in my 12^th week, almost towards the end of the first trimester, but still feeling miserable, throwing up everyday (usually in the afternoon or at night) and feeling nauseous and bloated throughout the entire day. I heard it will get better. I can’t freakin’ wait.

First Baby Photo

Seeing the baby in the ultrasound made it more real than ever.

It’s amazing to see how he (let’s pretend he’s a he for now – I wont know until a month from now) can have a tiny beating heart in his tiny, inch-long self. It’s amazing to see that little baby inside of me. And what’s more amazing is how this little being is just kicking my ass and wreaking havoc in his momma’s system.

Pero ok lang. Despite the fact that I feel miserable being sick and had to take 2 unpaid weeks off from work, thinking about him and seeing this picture makes this whole first trimester torture all worth it.

posted by meL @ 8:54 AM